Interning in MI

I am now doing an internship (unoffical) at a church here in Michigan. Work as an intern is starting slow... but I am enjoying it.   I will be back in Kansas for the holidays as of the 16th, then come back home to Michigan on the 5th. This is going to be a very, very good testing ground for me.   I just pray I do not fail the tests.

The gypsy road, the gypsy road, what a life for me! ~ Traveller Gal

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Journey to Michigan

For the first time in ages I can say life is truly good.   Everyone up here is soo accepting of people like me... mostly because there are soo many around here.  lol.

Oh yeah,  I am in Leslie MI.... not sure for how long... that kinda depends.... on a lot... but if the peace I have inside is true.... this will be home for a while.

For the first time since the year of sorrow.... everything in life just fits together... here I am totally honest and myself... I took a long walk last night before I had to get back to get some sleep for... and contemplated on deep things of the faith...  tis sooo crazy...I find myself returning to the things of the faith that I thought were totally dead to me.... hmmm.... strange... could it be that God brought me here now for this very season....

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Longings...

There is soo much I could be doing, soo much my life once held.   I need to learn how to lead in the battle no matter how week my physical body is... for this battle is not against flesh and bone, but against the things in the spiritual realm that stand against God.

I find my self more and more restless... though I am not well enough to work away from home.   I awake in the middle of the night (my time of the day---not my parents or I would be up more at night.) longing for more.   I use to be so focused.  I used to be so sure of where I was headed.   Where did that go?

God, I beg of Thee, show me what path to walk... guide me.  Return understanding to me... that I might know the meanings to that which You are showing me.   I return again to Thy Word with faithfulness, as close as a human can know...anyway.   My King, teach Thy daughter what You want of her. Amen.† 

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Cry of Battle

Battles heat, armies great,
Tears of greif, Wounds of hate.
Is this the battles fate?

Rise the cry of the battle,
Rise the cry of the war
Tis the dying of the Son,
Tis the Rising of the One

Piercing Light, Lions might,
Tears of joy, balm of love,
Is the the battles end?

Rise the cry of the battle,
Rise the cry of the war
Tis the dying of the Son,
Tis the Rising of the One.

© 2003 MMH/MMN

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Good mood...

I am trying to keep in a good mood...as most likely you can tell.  It is hard some days, for at times I only have enough energy to rest on the couch, read, and talk with friends.   God is helping me.  While I'll never understand why He allows this stuff to happen... I am kinda glad He did.

Nothing like a mystery illness to drive me into His Word and prayer... because that is all I have left to cling to in this life.  My possessions mean little, money means little... the things that matter, friends, family, the Lord, the calling.   Those are what in this life that matter...

~ Traveller Gal, out!

New Orleans again?

Things are finnally looking up...

I am taking a course at my church in the School of Ministry.  And as well I am taking a course in Resturaunt and Hotle Management... thinking towards traveling to New Orleans, maybe June 2004.   Yeah... my life is on the up swing....

I got everything in order with my King.   Iosa Criosta is so good to me... I had no right to abandon the blood price He paid for me... I was a runaway slave.   You see, we are all blood bought slaves which the Lord has adopted as His children.   Which is kinda strange but awesome!!!

Lay me down

I have slipped back into depression... I have been boarder line for a few months... but I have crossed over now... sigh... well life goes on whether I am depressed or no.

Lay me down the cold, cold ground, I will stand, will stand my ground. ~ We Were Soilders 

Once more I feel as if I have let some of my close friends down... I am such a mess... why do you people even care?

My life is a mess... and has been for ages...
I just hit the bottom... and GOD is now rebuilding me...
sigh... should have let HIM sooner.
I have reasons to live... sigh... I just wish life was easier

 ~ Traveller Gal, out!

Dine Bikeyah?

Yesterday was good.  The day camps ended well.  ^_^

A teacher, David Sprinkle, encouraged me to focus on ministry to the Navajo.  I might, if my health holds up, in fact I would love that.  Right now it is just a big question mark, even though I did feel as if God was asking me to go to Dine Bikeyah back when I was 16.

As well, over lunch break I got to talk to Matt.  That was such a blessing.  Just talking to him helps me so much.  He is calling me on Tuesday, if something does not come up.

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Day Camps!

One day of camps.... (Legacy Day Camp).... the youth is so awesome, but their stores are hard ones.   I love this work... but it reminds me so much of what I have gone through that few know of.

My friends, if I am testy or overly questioning of you this week, please forgive me... I come home every night tired, and trying to sort out what I have learned and what these kids have gone through... and I tend to stay work mode... even here at home.

Oh, the picture is of me with a mosaic I made at the camps!

The battles...

Awake and arise oh sleeper, for the year of thy mourning has passed from thy gates!!! Arise again unto thy callings and be renewed!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do I feel like my soul is ripped in 2?  Everything comes against me at once, yet I strive to hold my ground, as a good warrior.  But I am beaten to the ground, broken and crying.  Why Lord must all these things happen?  I just do not understand!  Yet still to You do I cling... what other chance of making it is there? 

The tides turn, some of the battles lessen, while others do intensify... A warrior am I, and a warrior I will stay... Oh, Father, put some balm upon my wounds that I might carry on!

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Traveller Gal

PEACE....
now that is a word that use to be so easy for me to explain.  Life was good.  I knew where I belonged in those days.  Well, at least in terms of at my church.... took me years to find out I belonged reaching out the the youth. 



UN-REST....
oh, my soul is restless...
I know it now.  I have the wandering, restless spirit so well known among the Irish missionaries of old.  I knew that by this time I would be perparing to leave home.... I knew that when I was 16/17.  Sometimes I wish I would listen to myself.  LOL.  I know myself better that I think.  Oh, how I long to wander the open lands and go where the Spirit leads.  Who know where HE will lead me with my work?

PAINED....
THe sorrow and losses of the past year have left bitter scars.  The unwise choices, the bitter wounds, and the lessons learned.  I may not be strong yet, but I am stronger from this time.

ACTION...
With all said, I am starting real packing as of today, that I might be able to give away what I no longer need or can keep.  My time here in Kansas is over.  From this time on, I am only a visitor.  I have loved living and growing up here, but such days are over.  'Tis time to finish the studying I began when I was 7 to become a missionary.... then start working among my generation and those generations of youth yet to come.

FATHER GOD, TO YOU I COMMIT THIS LIFE!!! AMEN!!!

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Bad health...

Things are easeing a bit as I realize I have been running from the reality of my mom and grandma's bad health and the news that keeps pouring in over that.

My health is not good either, and I have been doing stuff to make it worse, and extra stress is all I need.

My friends, thank you for your prayers.  I don't know how I would go on with out your prayer support.

~ Traveller Gal, out!

Peace...

Peace at last floods my soul.  My searching heart rests at last.  Praise GOD for His mercies, for they are new every morning.  Illness comes and goes, yet I rest in the hands of He who created me. 

Who knows what the road a head holds?

A trip to Kansas City...

I am going to Kansas City today, fun and shopping!!!

My poor health remains.  My body is weak, though my mind is alive and my spirit souring.  There is so much I am to do for God while I am here; 'tis time to get started. Enough moaning and mooping about.  'Tis time!!!

Trip to Wisconsin...

Well, the trip to Wisconsin was awesome! Matt and I had so much fun together.  I cried after we said our final good-byes. :(  I would not trade that trip for anything.  At last I got some open road and a plan under my wings.

Even better is this sweet freedom of the soul that I thought was far beyound my reach.  I am Morria totally for the first time.  May haps I am a traveller gal?

~ Traveller Gal, out! (my new blog signature)

Enter Rayne

Rayne called.  After having texted and spoken some, phone rang today while I was on the road today.  Matt got to speak to Rayne as well, so it was an awesome day on our trip.  Who knows how this will turn out, now that my "siblings" have spoken.  Well, the adventure continues so I must go.

~ Traveller Gal, out! 

Where is home?

I am home yet not.  Strange how one can live house for almost 18 years, and in a short time though still you dwell there in, it is no longer home.  I love my room, but I know soon this ne're again will be my home.  How I long for the open road... a journey... an adventure.  Even a short bike ride would be a blessing right now.
 
~ Morria

Year of Sorrow...

As I sit at the computer transcribing a letter for my mom about my “uncle” Phil’s death last October 27th, it comes to mind why it seems I am just awaking from a bad dream. I lost 5 people and my dog in six months time. On top of that, my mom, dad, and grandma all had cancer scares in that same time too. Praise be to God that non of them had cancer.

I could not believe it the Thursday, July 25th, when Kevin Duncan called my dad. From the sound of his voice I knew it was something bad. When my mom walked in and told me Samuel Meadows had died in a motorcycle accident, I could not believe it. I ran down stairs and cried for an hour praying God would restore life to my elder “brother”, as I counted Sam to be. Finally, about two hours after I quit praying that, I went to my room and drew a picture.  I cried till no tears would fall.  Numbness set in...

Next would come the loss of my dog Wolfy.

Then my Uncle Bob McNary passed away after his liver transplant.

My “uncle” Phil Richards (he was my mom’s cousin, and since his parents death 10 years ago, he has been a brother).

A young mother was killed in a car accident in November.

On December 5th, I lost one of my grown cousins, Bobby Jo, in a car crash.
Needless to say, for sometime I have been somewhat numb. Add to that my health battles, and my battles the past 4 months at work, and it is no wonder I feel I am just waking up again.

~ Morria

Imprisonment...

I hate this imprisonment of weakness; I hate this physical faintness. If only the strength of my childhood would return. If only, if only... Oh, what am I thinking? Things will ne’er be as they were, for my body is frail now, though a youth still am I. Such is my lot in life, and ’tis a cross that I must bear. Would I ’twere another, yet still must I journey on, for though this be my lot, my calling is before me. By the grace of God I will do that which I am called to do.

~ Morria

Trials...

 Trials, tribulations, and persecution, ne’er before for the past nine months have I had so many and at the same time! I thought I knew a little about what it meant to be disliked, to be an outcast, to be sorrowful, but in the past nine months my world has turned over. I have lost 5 people (people from my church and in my family) and my dog to death. Of those, Samuel Meadows death hit me the hardest. He had been my teacher, mentor, and friend; in truth, I counted him my big brother. With his passing I learned to have faith in God no matter how hopeless things looked and to trust in Him even when every thing made no since.

Then with my work, which I took because it was my dream job, (a nightmare, though I knew it not!), I have faced a boss that has no understanding of this area, of the costumers she “serves”, compassion on her workers. She pays no mind to the health of her employes even when she is told of doctor’s advice. On top of all that, she has turned on the few of us that are different for dressing “too different”, even though we have followed everything that the company has told us to do.

How much I have grown through these testing times. I am not the same person I was a year ago, for in truth then was I a girl and now am I a woman.

~ Morria

Beginning...

Well, I got a web journal.  I do this in my note book all the time anyway, why not here too?

If I have a chance, I might "back blog" a few important enteries from pre-today, but for the most part it will be from today forward, looking forward and back... lets see what this journey of life holds!

~ Morria